Louise in the Courtyard of Her Pousada

"Louise in Pousada Courtyard #1", Brazil, Summer 2010.

Dear Louise,

I am still looking for you.

I was foolish not to take your e-mail or your home address the morning before you got on the bus with the other Swedish tourists leaving for the airport. I searched all over the internet for you and cannot find any information. I found you on Facebook, but I see that you rarely visit your page and you do not accept requests for friends.

Your beauty and quiet soulfulness are imprinted in my memory. I can see no other way besides us meeting once again. Strange and as deceptive as a photograph can be, I feel that you are still somewhere close to me and that we have not lost one another for good. Maybe the next time we meet you will be walking without your crutches as you have always wanted and I will be free from generations and past lives of karmic suffering.

However, brief our encounter, I feel a strong connection to your desire to heal, your strength beyond your 18 years, and your deep conviction to hold onto faith. When I look at this photograph, I am reminded of all the possibilities that lay ahead of you. I imagine your reserved, timid yet courageous aura and all the inspiration of a full peaceful life that radiates from you. You inspire me just like the cool tranquil blue tiles and the painting of a flower in bloom that  paint the background behind you.

I hope someone will see this photograph who knows Louise and let her know that I am looking for her.

We met on a ship in the middle of the ocean, two strangers but bonded through our sisterhood in our desire to heal and to make the impossible become possible.

I hope you have found peace and healing.

Love, Juliana

Unity and Micheal

I took this photograph a couple of years ago with a digital camera. It was the first time that I had gone out to the Rockaways without my Rollei Twin Lens.

It was an overcast late summer day in August.

Before I left home, I put on a melon colored dress that I had bought at Old Navy. I wanted to look pretty; for once, my friends in the Rockaway's neighborhood would see me in something feminine. I wanted them to see me beyond the tough ruffian who trolls the streets with an over sized photo knapsack and a bandanna wrapped around my head.

"Oh, Juliana, you look cute!" was the first reaction I got when I ran into Richard when I got off the train on 116th st. His voice was less monotone than usual... an exclamation, no less. He grinned and looked downward.

I went over to Unity's boarding house on 113th street. I hadn't seen her for a while. Her lower appendages were swollen, making it hard for her to leave her room. I found her leaning her head out the window on the first floor. She was standing in the corridor. She was petting her cat, Micheal who twirled in circles with every stroke she gave him.

It began to drizzle. We went inside.

"Oh, darling", she said in a thick Scottish accent, "you haven't lost too much weight, have ya?" She passed her hand over to the V neck of my dress and pulled the material closer together, covering whatever cleavage there is to show.

"Oh, no, dear, you must be careful...you must be careful someone might say something. They might think the wrong things"

Micheal came in from the sill. I took this picture. And not until this evening did I find it amongst the deluge of digital files eating up my external hard drive.