|"Celeste Portrait #1", Etna, Maine, Summer 2013. ©Juliana Beasley|
This was the first time when I depended completely on my digital camera. I have scoffed my DSLR for years and now, with no money to pay the costs of film development (despite having a refrigerator full of 120 film and Polaroid too!!) and scanning negatives on a higher end scanner, I had to give into the technology and warm up to the world of digital. I am somewhat of an anachronism at this point.. I still believe that film is where it really is at but under my circumstances I had to the use the tools that were the most economic. I wouldn't say I would choose my Rollei over my DSLR if someone handed me a wad of money to work solely on my artwork but I discovered that I am capable of working with this medium which still feels so elusive and intangible. I don't trust it and I think it comes down to the fact that I can't cut the developed negative strips and put them away in a case and store them on my shelf. Yes, I do not trust it.
I also find that I am not as focused when I shoot digital. Given the fact, that when I shoot with my Rollei, I only have 12 frames to shoot very wisely and with great concentration before I have to unhinge my flash bracket, roll the shot film and reload it again with another roll of 120 and then close the back and reattach the flash bracket. I am a different photographer perhaps when I shoot digital because I can take many many more images and so much is just disposable. Maybe this gives me the room to experiment and screw up more which is always a wonderful way to learn how to take stronger images.. sometimes, those mistakes are great teachers and they sometimes are the keepers.
I can't set back the clock to before the digital photo revolution. I often wish I could.. there would be less amateur photographers who believe they are photographers and less would still be more. I am still incapable of the inevitable: analog really is dying and I want to get up on a soap box and educate the average consumer and tell them that analog is still superior in my mind. I'm a slow learner and I catch onto trends often very late and sometimes this has worked to my advantage.