Could Superficiality Get Me Through? Day #4 Withdrawals.

Here is a super fab video from gorgeous Robbie Williams and my saviors, The Pet Shop Boys sing back ups for Robbie.

A perfect mix: Robbie plays the drag queen/sexy lounge singer and the satirical or not so, musicians, The Pet Shop Boys of great hits like, the monotonous memorable contemporary urban question,  "You Pay My Rent", provide the music. 

Yes, good superficial desires are pulling me back in or as they say these days, GROUNDING ME . Don't get me wrong, things are still throwing me in around in a spastic habitrail, or rather, I feel like I'm standing on the side lines, bouncing around and out of rhythm.

I treated myself to Sally Hansen nail strengthener, cut them cuticles and soaked my fingers in a bath of anti-bacterial suds. I am on the way to real lady fingers... something that might make my life better. I have to give it a chance.

The inner and brain zaps, depersonalization, other words, my arch nemesis "the existentialist solitary confinement". 

Thanks Jean-Paul Sartre for the breaking through to the other side. Or rather inside. Damn' you, I love you.

They are still there. And the ever annoying to others, 'repetitive thinking' which manifested in days of  incessant crying and self-loathing. Some of the others seem of the lighter malfunctions: headaches, and nervousness, paranoia, etc. 

There have been so many epic nightmares crossing continents and centuries, violence and apocalyptic brouhaha that could have gained me several screenplay Oscars if I had found the time to detangle their senselessness.  

My doctor says write them down. They always say that don't they. They want you to believe you are the next Ann Sexton or Francis Farmer.... crazy and fucked up but with some intellectual redemption. Or maybe they just want to teach you how to pass your time instead of eating yourself alive.

But, let's get back to superficiality. In the worst of times, shopping and the Pet Shop boys has gravitated me back to ground floor.  What ever it takes. You might have your own secret superficial endeavors. I call them joie de vivre... so, why do I deny myself "The Love Boat" episodes on a regular basis to keep my head above ground? 

I suppose too much of it would turn me 180 degrees back to depressive thinking. I esteem those who walk through life with little irritation for the most banal of activities. Everyone, needs something to believe in and for some it just might be that SUV with tinted windows.

So, for your listening and visual pleasure, the super sexy and super genius of Chris Lowe and Neil Tennant have satirically pulled me through the worst of times when there seemed to be no one around. And yes, before Facebook when you might get a heads up and notic e.

Here is a super fab video from gorgeous Robbie Williams and my saviors who flatly sing in a memorable contemporary question: "You Pay My Rent". The next is hot, hot, hot.

For a great look at an interview with Tennant and Lowe:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ariston-anderson/pet-shop-boys-write-socia_b_210648.html

Time to walk Moishe and Howard and then a revisit to any errors in this draft. 

For those of you who want to look at the longer version of an interview with Robbie Williams in drag and hairy chest check out the following:

With cheezy whizzy interview!

Unity and Micheal

I took this photograph a couple of years ago with a digital camera. It was the first time that I had gone out to the Rockaways without my Rollei Twin Lens.

It was an overcast late summer day in August.

Before I left home, I put on a melon colored dress that I had bought at Old Navy. I wanted to look pretty; for once, my friends in the Rockaway's neighborhood would see me in something feminine. I wanted them to see me beyond the tough ruffian who trolls the streets with an over sized photo knapsack and a bandanna wrapped around my head.

"Oh, Juliana, you look cute!" was the first reaction I got when I ran into Richard when I got off the train on 116th st. His voice was less monotone than usual... an exclamation, no less. He grinned and looked downward.

I went over to Unity's boarding house on 113th street. I hadn't seen her for a while. Her lower appendages were swollen, making it hard for her to leave her room. I found her leaning her head out the window on the first floor. She was standing in the corridor. She was petting her cat, Micheal who twirled in circles with every stroke she gave him.

It began to drizzle. We went inside.

"Oh, darling", she said in a thick Scottish accent, "you haven't lost too much weight, have ya?" She passed her hand over to the V neck of my dress and pulled the material closer together, covering whatever cleavage there is to show.

"Oh, no, dear, you must be careful...you must be careful someone might say something. They might think the wrong things"

Micheal came in from the sill. I took this picture. And not until this evening did I find it amongst the deluge of digital files eating up my external hard drive.