Never Too Late for Good Trash!

My dear, on the edge, born to be Heidi Fleiss is in the news again!




Part Jewish class A entrepreneur, part trashy gal who liked to hook up with older men. She made a mess of her professional career as the "Hollywood Madame" (please, check out this film and the amazing "Aileen Wournos: The Selling of a Serial Killer" with the ever ego-centric and friendly fun loving, filmmaker Nick Broomfield).

In 1997, when Heidi was arrested for her prostitution ring. She had the hottest bitches in Hollywood or what some might say are... the big names spent big money to roll in the sheets with there choice of lust.

If you were around in 1997...this is no big news for you.

When word came out about her upscale business, she exposed a book of names of celebrities using her services. This was exciting news; enough so, that the famous John's could be seen running down the street holding onto their belt buckles in a tragic act of saving their faces from the National Enquirer.

The Big News:

She's finally tying the not with the king of whorehouses, Dennis Hof, owner of Nevada's Moonlite Bunny Ranch.

How would I have gotten this info being that my life as you all know is stuck in my own head and rests in this first floor apartment in Jersey City. Well, there are certain people who infiltrate this sanctum I call home that I share with famous dog friends, Moishe and Howard.

"Moishe", 2009. Photographed by Jazmin Francis

"Howard", 2009, photographed by Jazmin Francis.

This informer friend of mine would not want to admit it she has some connection to the Bunny Ranch that believe it or not might actually look good on her resume...might even cause a chuckle.

Sad but true...Heidi was living in a trailer stuffed with parrots (not stuffed as in taxidermied parrots).

Simply, in her own words: Heidi said of the wedding to be,

"I'm proud to say that I'm clean and sober, and I'm finally ready to make a commitment to one man - and that's Dennis. It's going to be my first and only wedding, so it's going to be fabulous."

Frankly, and let's be real about this Dennis is a unattractive pig skinned like man who likes to takes on one bunny at the Ranch as his whore of the moment, until a new piece of ass shows up and he tosses the former one to the side.

And Heidi, well she looked like a cartoon exaggeration of Carly Simon with horse teeth surrounded by tattooed lip liner.

I suppose this is just another Hollywood business arrangement.

Fact, is I was always enthralled with Heidi's business spirit and how she brought down the boys club with her...but, of course, as with all witch hunts...who always takes the real brunt. For her it was was 37 months in prison for tax evasion and without saying pandering. What ever happened to Charlie Sheen and Texas billionaire businessman Robert T. Crow who admitted to using her service. And all the others under speculation.

I also am probably one of 12 or so people on Facebook whom belong to the Heidi Fleiss Fan Club. Why do I love her...

1) She a super hot Jewish girl.
2) She had the balls to take on Hollywood and create a lucrative business.
3) She represents the Elia Kazan character from "Baby Doll" ,a dichotomy and a perverse twist.

The young actress was at once innocent, fragile, naive and yet, a hard hitting powerful woman.

O.k., there are some holes in these facts...I'm not foolish to believe that she has suffered terribly and is not the epitome of emotional stability. And perhaps, I am guilty, just as so many men with the boring fantasy of finding the good/bad girl in the bale of hay. But, something about this Lolita icon still fascinates me. An underhanded "manipulapath" with the face of an angel.

Heidi is ready to open a new brothel outside the Las Vegas limits...and it's full of studs for female customers...The Stud Ranch. Check out her website: Heidi Fleiss.

Juliana is On The Boat Baby!

This might get the feeling right! I'm on a boat baby! Please click here to get to the You Tube page for a fun and exciting ride.

If you read this before Monday or Tuesday next week...hee, hee...just wait!

Here I am alone, happy as my dog Howard, sitting in a lounge chair looking outside the window like an old woman watching the urban action from above. Occasionally, a dog and his human companion will walk by and Howard will turn and spin and bark in madness...death to anyone who intrudes "his" territory.

I look around and my desk is scattered with papers, my bedroom floor disheveled in a mixture of winter and summer clothes. Transition.

In the break of a storm...I just need to hold onto the boat baby. And pass through another stretch of chaos before a couple of weeks might settle into the realm of routine and the peace of morning coffees at 5:00 am.

For now, it picking up pieces and putting them back where I think they belong. But, really who knows for sure?

Putting away my toys and amassing and compiling a to do list from all the scribbled notes on envelopes, yellow legal pads, and organizers meant to make me more organized. I consider all that is terrifying about the future seemingly planned out to perfection. But, that list always gets curtailed by someone or something that pops their messy heads in the way of certainty. And then again, I'm back in this never ending cycle of putting things back together again. This is what the Buddhists call Samsara. This is what I call a pain in the ass.

No sillies not the perfume!

Or what my mother would have called a "shit kicker".

I wish Edward Gorey could draw a picture of the irony and insane quality of my life, of all of our lives. I would have to ask him,

"Can I be the ballerina from the "Gilded Bat" steady on one toe and yet utterly bored?"

And then I would place it over my bed, replacing my original copy of the ever hopeful "Paper Moon" poster--tough little Tatum and the wheeler dealer Daddy, Ryan sitting in the crook of the moon.(a joyful surprise of winning the Oscar. Please follow "Tatum" link to see this awesome and sickly cute clip.

Winner of 1973 Oscars! I was 6 and in love.

Not tonight. I'm up on the mountain. I'm on the boat, baby!